How to Spend Columbus Day?
by SaltyJak
Summary: With Timmy feeling depressed over his parents going to an amusement park without him, Vicky enacts a plan she hopes will cheer him up. The question is: What does Veronica have to do with it?


Timmy sat bolt upright as the sound of his alarm blared into his ear, then turned it off and hopped out of bed. Grabbing a change of clothes, he made his way to the bathroom to take a shower. "Feels like... I'm forgetting something..." he shrugged his shoulders and stepped into the warm water.

After taking several minutes too long in the shower (he just sort of fell into a daze), he made his way downstairs and toward his front door. "Meh... no time for breakfast..." But was stopped by his mother's voice.

"Timmy? Where are you off to so early?" she stuck her head out from the kitchen and looked at him quizzically.

"Um... to school? Where else would I be going? Also I'm late, so... Bye Mom, Bye Dad!" he made his way to the door and gripped the knob, but was stopped once again by his mother's voice.

"Timmy! You don't have school today. Did you forget?"

"Huh?" his hand dropped from the knob and back to his side.

"Today is Columbus Day. You don't have school."

Timmy took out his phone and looked at the calender. Sure enough, it was indeed Columbus Day. "Oh. Well then, I'm going back to bed, later!" he sprinted toward the stairs only to be interrupted for the third time by his mother.

"Why don't you stay down here and have breakfast?"

"But I'm tired..."

"Pancakes..." his mother said with a grin.

"Well, in that case..." he leaped off the stairs and ran into the kitchen. "I suppose sleep _is_ overrated..." he sat down in front of a large stack drenched in syrup. "So, what's the occasion?" He normally wouldn't ask, but curiosity got the better of him today, and his parents rarely made him breakfast.

"Well Timmy-" his father started. "We're going to an amusement park!"

"Really?! Awesome!"

"You're right! It _is_ awesome! And by we, I mean your mother and I!"

"..."

"And not you! I read in a magazine that parents who spend too much time with their children can start to feel old and worn out and start to despise them, so we're going out, and you're staying here!"

"Not yay..." Timmy muttered monotonously.

"Not yay?"

"Not yay..." Timmy sighed and returned his attention to his pancakes.

Timmy's mother eyed him curiously. _"Hmm... he seems down... I wonder why? Could it be because we aren't including him in our outings?" _She shook the thought from her head. _"No, it couldn't be that... I'm probably just worrying about nothing!"_ "Anyway, Vicky will be over in a little while to keep an eye on you, the pancakes in the fridge are for her, she just needs to warm them up in the microwave."

Timmy's mood perked up the slightest bit at hearing Vicky's name, though he hid this from his parents. The two had been together for several months now, he was twelve, she eighteen. There were times when he almost wished her to be younger, so that they could have a more normal relationship, but he always thought better of it. He couldn't make rash decisions on impulse when it came to her anymore, like he did when he was ten and wished for her to be younger, if he was going to make her younger, he wanted to ask her permission to do it, which would mean revealing that he has magical wish-granting fairy godparents. Which would cause him to lose Cosmo and Wanda forever. Which he obviously didn't want. So he was stuck, unfortunately. Unless by some miracle he received another muffin that allowed him to make rule-free wishes. Which was highly unlikely.

"But- but- Vicky is evil and- Ugh... I don't even feel like getting into it." _"Doesn't hurt to make them think that I still think Vicky is evil..."_

"Oh! We're going to be late! By Timmy!" His mother gave him a kiss on the cheek. "We'll see you tonight!" his mother hurried out the door, followed by her husband.

"Um... bye." he waved to his parents as they left.

_THIS! IS! A text message. _His phone blared out in the voice of Gerard Butler in _300_.

"I'll have to thank her for showing me how to download ring-tones for my phone..." Timmy took out his phone to see that Vicky had texted him.

_Your parents leave yet?_

He texted back to her.

_Yeah, when are you coming over?_

His phone blared out again.

_I'll be there soon._

Timmy heard a knock at his front door and opened it to find Vicky in a light, green jacket. "Real soon." she grinned at him and put her phone away.

"There's pancakes in the fridge if you're hungry." he smiled at her, but she could tell it was forced.

"Something wrong?" she entered and made her way to the kitchen.

Timmy chose to remain in the living room and sit on the couch.

Vicky put the pancakes in the microwave and stuck her head out of the kitchen. "Yo, are you okay?"

Sometimes... no, most times, she was just too good at reading his body language, he didn't have to say anything, and she immediately knew how he felt, evidently, today was no different.

Hopefully he would be as observant as her one day.

"I'm fine... it's just..."

"Parents, right?"

"...Yeah."

The microwave beeped.

"Well, don't let it getcha down." she came in and sat next to him, the plate of now syrup drenched pancakes in hand. "You always have me, y'know?" she nudged him playfully with her elbow.

"There's that..." he scooted closer and leaned into her.

"So, what do you wanna do today?"

"I don't care... I almost went to school..."

"Don't give me the sourpuss attitude, I know you care what we do. And second, really?"

"Yeah, forgot it was Columbus Day..."

"You must have been distracted. I wonder what it was...?"

"Thoughts of my girlfriend..."

Vicky felt his slender arm snake around her waist. "Good answer..."

"What do you do on Columbus Day?"

"Me? Well when I was younger, I usually _stayed home_."

The emphasis in her words was not lost on him. "Very funny. What do you do now?"

"Now?" Vicky thought for a few moments. "I don't think you'd enjoy what I do now, it's kinda naughty..."

Silence.

"Naughty?" Timmy couldn't keep the intrigue out of his voice.

"Yeah. I think naughty describes it well, and it's the best way to celebrate Columbus Day." Vicky set aside her now empty plate.

"What uh- what did you have in mind?"

He was nervous, she could tell. "How about you join me?" Vicky stood up and motioned to the door.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see..." she smiled at him, not necessarily an evil smile, but one that made him slightly wary all the same.

"Alright, what have I got to lose?"

"Your virginity?"

"My what?"

"Eh, nevermind. Save it for when you're older."

He followed Vicky to her car and got in. "So where are we going?"

"Hmm... how about... Oh! I know the perfect place!"

Vicky began the short drive toward the more ritzy neighborhood, likely where Trixie, Veronica, and the rest of the more stuck-up kids lived.

"You can smell the snob from here..." Vicky waved her hand in front of her nose.

"So where exactly are we going?"

"So. Who do you dislike the least around here?"

"AJ?"

"Nah, who else? Who might be likely to let you in their house?"

"Uh... Veronica I suppose? We aren't exactly close, but she isn't as bad as Trixie... Well... I suppose Trixie isn't as bad as she used to be..."

"Veronica's house it is!" Vicky drove up the driveway and got out.

"How do you know Veronica lives here?"

"Stop deconstructing the story! C'mon!"

Timmy stopped and contemplated what she had just said. "Story?" shaking it off, he followed after her and stood on the front porch of a mansion, it was very extravagant, and had a shooting star emblazoned on the front door. "What are we doing?"

"Just watch, maybe you and I can make a habit out of this, once you see what it's about."

Timmy was becoming increasingly nervous. For one, here he was, with his girlfriend, apparently about to do something 'naughty' at Veronica's house. Two, he had to admit, Veronica was kinda cute in a way. Not enough to make him even contemplate leaving Vicky, but enough so that his thoughts occasionally wandered to some... questionable places. "Vicky, I-"

_DING_

He was interrupted by Vicky ringing the doorbell. "I don't think-"

_DONG_

"Coming!" a decidedly un-valley girl accent sporting Veronica answered the door a second later, wearing a white tank-top and pink sweatpants, her hair disheveled and not in the ponytail Timmy was used to seeing it in. "Timmy?"

"Uh... Hey Veronica... nice- nice day, huh?"

A rather harsh and cold blast of wind blew across the three as if to mock him.

"Sure..." she was so dumbfounded by his sudden appearance that she didn't bother to add 'like' four times to every sentence. "Who's this?"

"Um... Veronica, this is Vicky, my babysitter." he blushed at the use of the word.

"Hi...?"

"Hey." Vicky walked past Veronica and into her house.

Veronica looked at her at first, then back to Timmy. "Come on in... I guess." she walked away and into her living room, if it could be called that.

Compared to the small-ish room that he called a living room, hers was far more lavish and impressive: an enormous TV sat against the far wall, surrounded by various game systems and players, the room had two 'L' shaped couches, pushed together to form a 'U' shaped couch, and there was even a bar. A bar! Though Timmy presumed that most of the alcohol was behind lock and key.

"So." Veronica flopped down on the couch and rested her head in her hand, supporting it with her elbow. "What's the occasion? I'm not saying I don't enjoy company, but I _am_ curious."

Timmy sat down next to Veronica. "I actually have no idea. Vicky decided we should come over here, so here we are."

Veronica turned her attention to Vicky, who was examining everything in the room with an unusual amount of interest. "Vicky?"

"Well..." she didn't bother to pull her attention away from the large collection of video games. "Let me ask you a question first. Are your parents- are any adult figures here right now?"

"_Well, that's an odd question."_ Veronica thought to herself. "No... just us... Why?"

"My original plan was to come over here and claim your house in the name of me, but, seeing as how there are no adults here, which would have made it more fun, I guess we'll have to try somewhere else..." Vicky shrugged her shoulders and offered a smile.

"You lost me there."

"Me too..." Timmy scratched the back of his head.

"Alright, let me talk real slow for those of you in the back. It's Columbus Day, right?"

"Yeah..." both twelve year olds replied to Vicky's question.

"And, you both know that when Columbus came here to America, he decided that he liked the 'New World' so much, that he decided to take it in the name of... Spain... or something, right?"

"Yeah..."

Okay, now, the way I celebrate Columbus Day is truer to old Christopher than most people, that is, I go to someone's house, knock on the door, then politely barge in and claim it as my own, just like Double C himself did with America and the Native Americans, understand?"

"I don't think it went down quite like-"

"Nobody asked what you think Twerp. I say Columbus took what he wanted and didn't care who he pissed off, so that's what we're gonna do!" Vicky pointed her finger at Veronica. "Veronica! Get dressed! We're gonna go ruin someone's day!"

"What? Me? But I-"

"Don't have anything else to do today. I know, that's why I am appropriating your presence."

Veronica opened her mouth and stuck her index finger up to protest, then closed her mouth and dropped her hand back to her side. "I'll go get dressed..."

Timmy watched her leave and then turned to Vicky. "Now what's going through your head?"

"Simple, we're gonna go celebrate Columbus Day right!"

"As in?"

"We're gonna go do exactly what I planned to do here!"

"Wait. You were planning on taking my house and kicking me out?" Veronica had returned, fully dressed in a white sweater with her hair in a ponytail, her pink skirt being swapped out for pink jeans due to the rapidly cooling weather.

"Originally, yes. But now, I think the three of us should be able to have some fun, don't you? Also, where did you buy pink jeans?"

"Wall 2 Wall mart. They have literally everything. So where are we going?"

"We need to brainstorm. Timmy?"

"There's... Trixie?"

"Nah, she isn't home, she went with her family to LA today." Veronica interjected. "What about your friend, AJ?"

"I'd rather not take his house from him and his parents, I am still friends with him, after all."

Vicky sighed loudly. "Who's left?"

"There's Tad... or Chad... and Remy."

"Now see? You gotta learn from this girl Twerp, three good ideas, right there!"

Veronica smiled slightly at the praise given to her by the supposedly evil babysitter.

"Hm... who has the biggest house?"

"Remy, easily. He makes the rest of us look bad, there is no bigger snob than him."

"Alright! Sounds like we got a plan Veronica!" the two girls high-fived.

"Wait." Timmy interrupted the two girls' celebrations. "You want to go to Remy Buxaplenty's house and essentially stage a hostile takeover?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Sign me up!"

"Alright!" Vicky pulled the two pre-teens over and draped an arm around each of them, she was quite excited by the prospect of corrupting these two children into people who shared her mannerisms. She even felt... happy? Yes, happy, that she got to spend some time with her boyfriend and this 'Veronica', likely because she rarely interacted with people in a friendly manner. "C'mon my two minions! It's a beautiful day!"

"Vicky? It's forty-two degrees out and windy with overcast skies..."

"Timmy! Give Veronica some words of encouragement! We can't have any negative Nancys here!"

"I was just correcting you about the weather..."

The three left Veronica's house and got into Vicky's car, Timmy sat in the back, while the girls sat up front. "So, where's this kid's house?"

"I'll direct you as we go."

Timmy watched his girlfriend and sort-of friend converse happily, he hadn't really planned on the day going the way it was, but he wasn't about to complain. Vicky needed to socialize with people more and she was doing just that, he certainly didn't expect Veronica and her to hit it off.

"Take a right here."

He was fairly surprised by how receptive Veronica was to the idea, he didn't even expect to get into her house, let alone have her join Vicky and him on some sort of scheme. _"Maybe she's lonely?" _That could have been, but she always seemed content to sit with the popular kids, though he felt that he and her were on at least friendly terms, she wasn't nearly as annoying as the rest of them were.

"A left... here."

In fact, if he hadn't ended up with Vicky thanks to their repeated avalanche incident, he could definitely see himself ending up with Veronica, assuming she felt the same way. Which she probably didn't. She was rich and popular, he was middle class and oh so boring, well, not really, but having a life filled with magic and adventure and chaos was far different from being able to tell someone about it.

"Head straight until you get to Fifth Street, then turn right onto it."

He had wished, on multiple occasions even, that he could tell Vicky about his fairies. He hoped that whoever ordained things up in Fairy World would show him a bit of mercy and allow him to tell the girl he loved about his fairies, but each time he made the wish, all he heard was the familiar sound of his godparents' wands fizzling out.

"Alright, now go straight, his house is the last one on the left, the big one."

Then again, he only had Cosmo and Wanda because Vicky made his life miserable, which she definitely no longer did. So why did he still have them? Normally he wouldn't even think to question it, but it certainly was odd, he was no longer miserable, of that he was sure, so maybe it was because of his parents that he continued to have Cosmo and Wanda? It kind of made sense, in the way that magic makes sense. That is, it makes sense as long as you don't think about it.

"This the place?" the trio in the car sat before a mansion that looked as if it had been built out of other, smaller mansions.

"Yep. The Buxaplenty residence, in all it's douchey glory."

Timmy silently thanked the heavens that Remy no longer had a fairy godparent, things would only become more complicated, and perhaps, dangerous, if he did. Then again, he also thought that Remy would have mellowed out and become less of a shit after being stranded on an island with his parents and finally getting to spend time with them... Nope. As soon as he arrived back in Dimmsdale, he returned to his old ways of being... well... a shit. Which is why he had no qualms about what they were about to do... as long as nobody got hurt anyway.

"So how does this work?" Veronica queried.

Vicky beamed at her and Timmy, obviously excited by the prospect of teaching her 'ways' to two very malleable minds. "We go in, state our intentions, then politely ask them to leave."

"And when they don't?" Veronica raised an eyebrow.

"We politely _force_ them to. Haven't you ever performed a B and E slash hostile takeover?"

Veronica looked at Timmy, who looked at Veronica, and both deadpanned at Vicky.

"Right, stupid question. Let's go!"

The three got out of the car and rang the doorbell to the imposing fortress that was a house. The door opened after several minutes to reveal a haughty-sounding butler. "Who are you?" he annoying rolled his 'R's and overextended his 'U's.

"Us? We're the houses new owners in a few minutes." Vicky spoke up.

The butler looked at them quizzically before his eyes fell on Veronica. "Ah! Ms. Star! Do you know who these two uncouth miscreants are, and why they are loitering about the Buxaplenty residence?"

"Um... they're my friends... would you mind allowing us to come in, Jeffrey?"

"Hm..." he eyed the red-headed girl and pink hat wearing boy cautiously. "I... suppose not. But I don't want to hear about you two behaving uncouthly later from Master Remy. Ms. Star, and... friends... I bid you good day." the butler quickly scurried off into the house.

"Nice job Veronica." Timmy patted her on the shoulder.

"Good thing all of us know each other... unfortunately. C'mon, Remy is probably in his living room." Veronica led them through several rooms and winding hallways, Timmy followed her, awestruck at the immense size of the house. Vicky followed slightly further behind, occasionally stopping to have a look at the mansion's security, or pocket a particularly alluring treasure, just in case her plan didn't work out like she hoped.

The three arrived in a large room similar to Veronica's living room, Remy sat on the couch and faced away from them toward a massive TV.

"Hey, Remy?" Veronica started.

He didn't turn away from the TV, apparently it was too loud for him to hear her.

"Remy." Timmy tried next, slightly more forcefully.

He still didn't respond.

"Remy-"

"Hey Buxaplenty!" Vicky had interrupted Timmy, ran forward and flipped the couch Remy sat on with strength that seemed very out of place for someone of her stature.

Remy popped his head out from under the now flipped couch. "How uncouth! Who are you madam? And why have you done this to me?"

Upon hearing Remy's haughty voice, Timmy briefly entertained the thought of procuring some forks and jamming them as deep as he could into his ears, if only to save himself from having to hear that horribly annoying voice.

"Timothy? Is that you? What are you doing here? I don't recall saying you were welcome."

"Actually Remy, my good man." Vicky mocked Remy in a voice similar to his own. "I have chosen to celebrate Columbus Day here, along with my two guests."

"And how exactly does a trio of degenerates like you celebrate an imaginary holiday?"

"Remy, come now. No need to start insulting us, your house is now mine, as I have rightfully claimed it. So I'd hate to garner more animosity between us and be forced to kick you out." she was even using flowery words to mock him now, in addition to the waspy accent.

"You can't do that! It's illegal and- and I have money!"

Vicky dropped the accent. "Well I just did." she smirked evilly at him. "Now, Get. Out."

"I refuse! I live here! Mother! Father! Come in here, quickly! I need you to teach this uncouth girl some manners!"

"_We sure are hearing the word uncouth a lot today..."_

"Yes Remy? What is it?" two adult figures, a man and a woman, both dressed in business attire, appeared, speaking in similar accents to Remy's.

"These... miscreants are attempting to take our house in celebration of Columbus Day. I demand that you have them leave at once."

The blond man with the jutting chin walked over and spoke to Vicky. "Miss, I don't know who you are, but I'm afraid my son is right, you cannot just come in here and claim this house as your own, the world does not work that way. I'm sure you are a nice girl, so I ask you, please leave so that I do not have to contact the authorities." polite as he claimed he was trying to be, the man made no attempts at hiding his audacious haughtiness, and his voice was giving Vicky a pounding headache.

"Call 'em." she dared him.

"Now see here! I will if I have to!"

"I'm waiting..." Vicky crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes dangerously.

Timmy facepalmed. _"Will they never learn?"_ he was smart enough to stay out of her way and avoid pissing her off, only made easier by the fact that they were dating, but it seemed that no matter how much the legends about Vicky grew, there was always someone who was completely unaware of how she was. Even Veronica seemed to have no idea of who exactly she was letting into her home just fifteen minutes earlier, though that meeting turned out fine, it seemed Veronica and Vicky had become fast friends.

"Eh... Erm... very well then!" Remy's father grabbed the phone and dialed 911. "Yes hello? I have a home invasion on my hands here... what? Do I know the person? Let me ask..." he turned his attention from the phone to Vicky. "What is your name?"

"I'm Vicky, this is Veronica, and that over there is Timmy."

"Did you catch that? You'll send someone in a few minutes? Thank you." he hung up and looked at the three intruders. "The three of you are going to be in quite a lot of trouble if you don't leave before they get here, I suggest-"

"I'll wait, thanks." Vicky interrupted.

"Vicky, maybe we should-" Veronica began to speak, but was interrupted by Timmy.

"Better to just go with it, we can trust Vicky."

Vicky turned and shot him a warm, genuine smile that made him blush.

Veronica shrugged. "Alright, if you say so."

The silence that prevailed for several minutes afterward was broken by rather loud rapping upon the front door. From far on the other side of the house, the group in the living room heard the door open and the butler from earlier greeting someone, then saying 'Right this way'.

The butler appeared after several more minutes of awkward waiting with a police officer in tow. "Officer Wolfe, sir."

"Thank you Jeffrey, leave us."

"Very good sir." Jeffrey once again scurried off.

The officer released an annoyed sigh. "Alright... what's the problem?"

"The problem, officer, is that these... vagrants are attempting to commandeer my abode in celebration of some ridiculous holiday."

"What? Columbus Day?"

"Yes, I believe that is what the banshee said."

Wolfe eyed the red-headed girl. "Vicky..."

"Don't start with me Wolfe, I'm within my rights."

"No, you are not!" Remy's father yelled out.

"Yes, I am!" Vicky yelled back even louder.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Actually..." Wolfe interrupted the two. "She is."

"What?!" Remy's father looked at the officer like he had just grown two extra heads, while Vicky just offered a smug grin.

"Yes, I'm afraid she's right." Wolfe shrugged semi-sympathetically. "A frequently overlooked law in the Dimmsdale city law book says that on Columbus Day, a person can enter another's house and claim it as their own, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. My apologies Mr. and Mrs. Buxaplenty, but she could actually ask me to have _you_ leave."

"This is outrageous! How can?! You are-! Can't we just take it back from her?!" he pointed to Vicky accusingly.

"I'm afraid not, you'll have to wait until the next time Columbus Day rolls around, sorry."

"Wolfe? Would you kindly escort these... _uncouth_ people to the nearest exit?" _"Oh yeah, I still got it."_

"Alright, let's go. I'll drive you three to a motel..."

"But! She can't-!"

'We've been over this, yes, she can. Now please leave in an orderly fashion, I'll be along after I check in with the rest of your 'intruders'."

Remy and his family begrudgingly left, grumbling all the while.

Wolfe watched them, then rubbed his forehead. "Thought I was gonna have to get violent there..."

"Thanks Wolfe!" Vicky had lapsed into her sweet voice now.

"How about something a little more low profile next time? You are dangerously stretching the law here..."

Vicky waved her hand at him dismissively and scoffed. "Long as the law exists, I'll be sure to twist it to suit my needs and wants, you know that."

"Suppose I do. At least I only have to come and pull your ass out of the fire once a year..."

"Exactly! Look at the brighter side of things!"

"Right. Take care Vicky, and..." he looked at Timmy and Veronica. "Whoever you two are."

Timmy watched Wolfe leave, then turned to Vicky. "I feel like I should be surprised that you're friends with a police officer, but I'm really not."

Vicky vaulted over the back of the couch and laid down on it. "What can I say? I'm resourceful. Jeffrey!"

The terribly annoying butler returned. "Yes Madam?"

"Fetch us some drinks, please."

"Of course, Madam." he quickly ran off toward where Vicky assumed the kitchen was.

"You two wanna stand there all day, or do you wanna join me for a relaxing rest of the day?"

Veronica moved first and sat down next to Vicky. "I'm impressed, no one around here stands up to Remy and his family..."

"Stick with me kid, and you'll go places, I promise you that." Vicky nudged Veronica playfully with her foot, not being in the right position for a nudge with her elbow.

"I just might take you up on that offer..."

Timmy moved next and walked over to the couch, then lifted Vicky's legs, sat down where they were, and dropped them so they fell and draped across his lap.

"You two are pretty close, huh?" Veronica eyed the two next to her.

Vicky sat up and threw her legs off of Timmy, then pulled him into a one-armed hug. "Of course! I've been watching Timmy for years! Why wouldn't we be close?"

Timmy considered struggling against her grip since Veronica was here, but realized that, with Vicky holding him so close, he really didn't care for the moment what Veronica may have thought of their relationship.

"I dunno, I guess I'm just surprised by it. Usually kids are embarrassed by their babysitters, I guess... it's just... nice."

"Really, I'm not as evil as everyone makes me out to be." Vicky ruffled Timmy's hair.

Timmy adjusted his hat back on his head. "So, what are we gonna do for Halloween?"

"Hm... I dunno, Veronica? Got any plans?"

"Not really, I mean... I usually go trick or treating with Trixie and-"

"Then it's settled!" Vicky yanked Veronica into the hug she had Timmy in. "I think the holidays are gonna be _very_ interesting this year, don't you?"

* * *

><p>AN: Just a quick note here, while 'Officer' Wolfe is in this one, this is a separate AU from Summer of Discontent. Wolfe and Vicky aren't as close, and Wolfe is more like a police officer that Vicky has in her pocket, rather than a father-figure.


End file.
